THIS has been a long time coming. There is a sweet artistic young lady where I work. I know she can sometimes feel she is less then enough when we all see her as clever, sweet, kind and an amazing artist both musically and with her drawings etc. My own son also suffers from bad self esteem and periods of immense anxiety and depression that cripple him and it tears at my heart. It truly makes me feel broken that some can feel so crushed in this World and insignificant that they feel they are not enough to stay alive. This sweet young lady at work reminds me so much of my son and when I saw she was struggling a few weeks back, I decided I would make her something to encourage her beautiful art and soul.....that time came a few days ago!
What I didn't realize was that in my desire to reach out to her it broke a fierce creative drought in me that had descended on me after I went to New Zealand over 4 years ago on my first arty teaching foray. Things happened there that very few people know about and due to those things I really felt my first try at teaching failed....and not because of me but due to bad organization and several other things. It caused me great angst and unhappiness that in the end I chose to retreat my arty side deep within my thoughts....I guess I didn't want anyone to say I failed or I was no good at what I did. A HUGE positive is I met and still adore some very wonderful people whom helped me greatly from that trip.
So back to this project....I knew I wanted to make an arty "on the go" art book for this sweet lady so I sat down and just started with no idea where or how it would turn out. I had some reasonably good quality A4 water colour paper in 200gms so decided it would be a water colour book. I scored and halved 10 A4 sheets. I punched five holes along the inner V fold by placing a centre hole first and then two holes either side of that at regular intervals.....repeat to all pages and then stack one on top of the other. Using a decorative twine I sewed all the pages together. Then attached thick plastic sheets in between each page and on the front and back using Washi tape...it was too hard to sew thru. These can be used as palettes to mix colours, wipe clean and reuse plus they protect each page from the other side.
Once I had my little book I used 3cm square swatches of Peerless water colour sheets on a grid inside the first page. These are gorgeous bright water colours that are impregnated into little sheets. You just touch a wet brush to them, pick up colour and paint away!! I did a little sample colour grid at the right. On the left of the grid I applied some white paint and the other side was blank. I painted each water colour sample over these so she could see the difference.
On the front cover I just started playing and as I did I had a moment of self doubt followed by a calm talking to myself along the line of "just go with it Annette...trust yourself and let it go". After awhile I looked at what had emerged....and there it was.....my old arty farty self had exploded in glorious colour, a fav quote, gesso, ink, water colour, stencils and I smiled! My hands and arms were multi coloured and I was happy!!! I too am always enough...I just forgot how to be....so on the forehead of the lady who emerged I left "you are always enough"....I know my sweet work friend will find that and know why I put it there. I gifted her two Aquash brushes (water fillable brushes) and a Pitt fine black permanent pen as well. A mobile art book in her hands. I gave it to her yesterday and she loved it.
We are not all born rich, pretty, tall etc etc etc but when you are down hear that little voice inside and KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH no matter what
hugs
Annette in Oz x
